How To Pick a Wife
Key Takeaways
- 💔 Compatibility does not solely determine relationship success; shared life goals are crucial for long-term happiness.
- 🛣️ Instead of seeking compatibility, prioritize finding a partner with aligned life objectives to avoid potential disaster in the future.
- 🤝 Look for a partner who complements you rather than mirrors you, to prevent competition and foster mutual growth.
- 💔 Ending a relationship due to incompatible life goals can be heartbreaking, but prioritizing shared objectives leads to greater fulfillment in the long run.
A Lesson in Compatibility: Goals Over Qualities
In Search of the Perfect Match
When it comes to relationships, we often seek compatibility. We want someone who shares our interests, values, and sense of humor. But is compatibility enough to sustain a long-term partnership? In my experience, compatibility alone is not the key to a successful relationship. What truly matters is finding someone who shares your life goals and aspirations.
The Story of B
Let me share with you a personal story. In my last year of college, I was dating a remarkable woman named B. She was intelligent, charming, and had a magnetic presence. We shared the same tastes in books, movies, and music. Our compatibility seemed perfect in every way.
However, despite our compatibility, we wanted different things out of life. B had her sights set on a corporate career and envisioned herself climbing the academic ladder to full tenure. On the other hand, I had dreams of heading to Hollywood and exploring the unknown. Our diverging paths created a rift between us.
Compatibility vs. Life Goals
Our society often emphasizes compatibility as the foundation of a successful relationship. We believe that if two people get along well and share common interests, they are destined to be together. But this belief overlooks the importance of shared life goals.
Life is a journey, and we each have our own destination in mind. If you embark on that journey with someone who wants to go in a different direction, conflict and unhappiness are bound to arise. It is crucial to find a partner who shares your vision of the future.
Qualities vs. Objectives
Instead of seeking compatibility based on qualities alone, we should prioritize finding a partner who has the same objectives in life. Qualities can be subjective and may lead to rivalry or competition within a relationship. On the other hand, shared objectives foster support and understanding.
Let’s take my relationship with B as an example. We were both ambitious and driven individuals. As we worked on our respective theses, we found ourselves competing with each other. This rivalry was a result of our similarities, not our differences. In a healthy relationship, your partner should complement you, not compete with you.
True Compatibility Lies in Goals
Compatibility may bring two people together, but it is shared goals that keep them united in the long run. Imagine if I had given up my dreams to work at a bank, as B had hoped. I may have achieved financial success, but I would have been miserable. Our relationship would have crumbled under the weight of unfulfilled dreams and resentment.
It’s important to understand that compatibility does not guarantee happiness. Even though B and I were compatible in many ways, our different life goals would have ultimately led to ruin. Don’t seek a partner who is just like you – instead, find someone who shares your aspirations but brings a unique perspective to the table.
Conclusion
Compatibility may be enticing, but it is not the sole determinant of a successful relationship. By prioritizing shared life goals over qualities, you increase your chances of finding a fulfilling and harmonious partnership. Remember, life is a journey, and choosing a partner who wants to walk alongside you in the same direction can make all the difference.
