After Sex, The Truth is Revealed

Main Ideas

• 💔 After sex, the truth about your feelings for someone is revealed, and it can be surprising.
• 🤔 Sex reveals what is hidden to us, because sexual impulse makes us blind and keeps us from seeing the truth.
• 💔 The idea of arranged marriages being happier than those based on romantic love challenges societal norms and expectations.
• 🤔 After sex, take a moment to reflect on who the person really is and if you truly want to be with them.
• 🔍 The realization that achieving something doesn’t bring fulfillment can be a tough pill to swallow.
• 🔥 Cutting off a toxic relationship sooner rather than later will save both parties from unnecessary pain and wasted time.
• 😔 The longer you stay in a situation that you realize retrospectively is a mistake, the more miserable you will become and the more you’re going to damage your reputation and soul.
• 👊 Sometimes you have to be the one to cut someone off if they are not right for you, and that’s okay.

The Power and Pitfalls of Sexual Desire

The Unstoppable Urge to Procreate

The instinct to survive is often considered the most powerful drive, but it is the drive to procreate that truly reigns supreme. Our sex drive is an unstoppable force that can consume our thoughts and actions, often to the detriment of other aspects of our lives. It is both fascinating and concerning that our civilization has found a way to harness and control this powerful force.

The Destructive Nature of Sexual Obsession

Many great works of literature have been written about the destructive nature of sexual obsession. Countless men throughout history have made a mess of their lives due to their lust for a particular woman. This phenomenon is not exclusive to the past – it continues to happen today. It is crucial to recognize that our sexual desires can blind us and prevent us from seeing the true nature of the person we are lusting after. Sexual desire, while pleasurable and exhilarating, can also be detrimental and lead to disastrous consequences.

The Post-Sex Revelation

It is often after sex, in the aftermath of orgasm and the glow of lovemaking, that we truly see whether we genuinely care about the person we have been intimate with. Surprisingly, many individuals discover that their intense feelings of desire and infatuation fade once the sexual act is over. The clear-headedness that follows allows us to evaluate whether the person we have been pursuing is truly compatible with us.

Renowned historian Robert Carroll once said, “Power reveals.” This statement holds true for sexual desire as well. Sexual desire blinds us, preventing us from seeing the flaws and potential incompatibilities that exist in our relationships. We become intoxicated by our desires and fail to recognize the negative impact they can have on our lives.

The Delight and Dilemma of Sexual Obsession

While sexual obsession can be destructive, it is also undeniably pleasurable. Being consumed by desire and passion can be exhilarating, even addictive. We crave these intense experiences, especially when we are young and more susceptible to their allure. However, this presents a significant problem.

In today’s society, there are no rules or limits when it comes to sexual attraction. People come together solely based on physical desire, without considering whether they are compatible in the long term. Consequently, individuals often find themselves entangled in relationships that are not suitable for them. They engage in passionate encounters that may initially seem fulfilling, only to realize later that they do not actually like the person they are with.

The Wisdom of Matchmakers

Many cultures throughout history recognized the dangers of unregulated sexual desire and devised strategies to prevent individuals from making hasty and ill-informed decisions. Matchmakers played a crucial role in bringing people together, ensuring that compatibility was considered before relationships were formed. These arranged marriages often resulted in greater happiness compared to unions based solely on romantic love.

Romantic love, as we often idealize it, is often more accurately described as lust – an uninhibited sexual desire that blinds us to a person’s true character. By relying solely on physical attraction, we risk entering relationships that lack compatibility and are destined to fail.

The Importance of Reflection

So, how can we navigate this complex landscape of sexual desire and obsession? The key is reflection. After engaging in sexual activities with someone, it is essential to take a step back and evaluate the true compatibility and potential of the relationship. This requires introspection and honesty with oneself.

When alone, away from the presence of the other person, we must reflect on who they truly are. We need to consider the clues and observations we have gathered during our interactions. While our sexual desires may have initially overshadowed any red flags or issues, the post-sex clarity provides an opportunity to see the person for who they really are.

The Difficulty of Acknowledging Mistakes

Acknowledging that we have made a mistake can be incredibly challenging. Whether it is realizing that we pursued the wrong person or achieved a goal that ultimately leaves us unsatisfied, it requires courage and honesty to admit our missteps. Often, there is a significant emotional investment involved, making the realization even more difficult to accept.

Personal experiences serve as a powerful reminder of the importance of reflecting on our choices and being willing to make necessary changes. For example, when the author published their first novel, they expected a sense of fulfillment and happiness. However, upon seeing their books stacked high in a bookstore, they felt nothing. The achievement proved to be hollow and unfulfilling, highlighting the need for honesty and self-awareness when evaluating our goals and desires.

Escaping Unfulfilling Relationships and Pathways

When it becomes evident that a relationship or career path is not aligned with our true desires and aspirations, action must be taken. Continuing to invest time and effort into something that does not bring us joy will only lead to greater misery and stagnation.

In the case of relationships, once we realize that we are not genuinely compatible with someone, it is crucial to end the relationship sooner rather than later. Lingering in a relationship that we know is doomed only prolongs the pain and prevents both parties from finding more suitable partners.

Similarly, in professional settings, if we find ourselves in a position, job, or achievement that fails to fulfill us, we must devise a plan to transition away from it. It is essential to avoid burning bridges but also to prioritize our own happiness and fulfillment. Staying in a role that breeds misery will only damage our reputation and our own sense of self.

The Importance of Protecting Our Souls

Our psychological well-being is directly tied to the choices we make and the situations we find ourselves in. Staying in circumstances that do not align with our true desires and values leads to the erosion of our inner selves. It is essential to listen to our instincts and make the necessary changes to protect our souls.

We must be willing to accept the label of a “bastard” or any other derogatory term if it means prioritizing our own happiness and authenticity. It is far better to be true to ourselves and face temporary discomfort than to remain in situations that drain us of our vitality and joy.

The Courage to Move On

As challenging as it may be, we must have the courage to admit when we have made a mistake and take the necessary steps to rectify it. Whether it involves ending a relationship or transitioning away from an unfulfilling career, we owe it to ourselves to pursue a path that aligns with our true desires and values.

Life is too short to be trapped in situations that do not bring us joy. By reflecting on our choices and having the courage to make changes, we can ensure a more fulfilling and authentic existence.

Remember, the power of sexual desire is immense, but it is within our control to make conscious decisions that lead to genuine happiness and fulfillment.