A Woman CANNOT Cure Your Loneliness
Key insights
- 😞 Gonzalo’s experience in Los Angeles highlights the inability of women to cure loneliness, despite external success and material possessions.
- 😞 Even though some of the women he dated cared about him and were kind, they did not assuage his feelings of loneliness.
- 🚫 No woman can fix your life or cure your loneliness; you have to do that yourself before entering a serious relationship.
- 💔 Loneliness can lead to settling for any relationship, regardless of compatibility, just to escape the feeling.
- 🚫 A woman cannot save you from loneliness, no matter how many you date.
- 💔 The inevitable breakup wasn’t fun.
- 💠The idea of a girl who will save you is romantic, but it can lead you astray.
- 💔 You have to solve loneliness by yourself.
Loneliness and the Myth of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl
When I was in my late 20s, I lived in Los Angeles, and I hated it. Los Angeles, as far as I’m concerned, is the loneliest city on Earth. It’s a sad and lonely place. During my time there, I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness that permeated every aspect of my life. I would latch on to anyone, even strangers, hoping that they would save me from this fate. Unfortunately, this desperate need for companionship only pushed people away.
The Loneliness of Los Angeles
Living in Los Angeles was the worst period of my life. Despite my success as a writer and the money I made, the loneliness I felt overshadowed any achievements. I would latch on to any girl I met, desperately hoping that she could fill the void within me. But my neediness and loneliness only repelled them. No matter how successful or wealthy I appeared, no woman wanted to be with someone so desperate and lonely.
A Change of Scenery
In 1998, I moved to New York City, specifically Manhattan. I found a spacious loft, and I started throwing parties, which allowed me to meet a lot of people, including women. Suddenly, I found myself dating many attractive and accomplished women. The parties and the apartment played a significant role in my success with women. While my career didn’t flourish during this time, my loneliness subsided. However, it didn’t completely disappear.
The Shock of Loneliness
Despite dating incredible women, I still felt lonely in New York City. It was a shock to realize that these women, no matter how wonderful and beautiful, couldn’t alleviate my sense of loneliness. Even after being intimate with them, I would lie there feeling incredibly alone. Loneliness, it seemed, couldn’t be cured by the presence of a woman.
The Myth of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl
From a young age, we are taught to believe in the myth of the “manic pixie dream girl.” This idea that finding the right woman will make us complete and cure our loneliness is prevalent in movies, books, and songs. However, it’s just a myth. No woman can save us from loneliness. It’s a romantic notion but simply not true.
The Dangers of Loneliness
Loneliness can cloud our judgment and lead us to make poor life decisions. When we feel lonely, anyone who pays attention to us seems like a potential savior. We often ignore the important factors that make a relationship compatible, such as shared life goals. Loneliness can blind us to the fact that a person may not be suited for us in the long run.
The Importance of Self-Care
Loneliness should be a signal for us to take care of ourselves, rather than seeking someone else to fill the void. It’s crucial to be strong when we feel our weakest and be cautious about bringing the wrong people into our lives. No woman can fix our lives or cure our loneliness. We have to address our loneliness ourselves before we can have a healthy relationship with a woman.
The Illusion of the “One”
Many happily married men often forget about the other women they dated before meeting their wives. They romanticize the past and believe that their wives were the only ones who could have saved them from their loneliness. However, they conveniently overlook the other women they were seeing at the time. It’s important to remember that there isn’t just one person who can cure our loneliness. We have to choose the best partner for ourselves, not just the one who happens to be there when we feel lonely.
Conclusion
The myth of the manic pixie dream girl is just a fantasy. No woman can save us from loneliness or fix our lives. Loneliness is something we must address on our own, and bringing the wrong people into our lives out of desperation will only lead to heartache. It’s important to recognize that no woman can cure our loneliness. We need to focus on self-care and find ways to address our loneliness before seeking a serious relationship.
